Becoming Real: From a Wooden Life to a Living Soul

What if you weren’t made to perform? What if you were made to come alive?

1. Relatable Story – The Tale of two Pinocchios

Disney has told the story of Pinocchio twice. In the 1940 version, a wooden puppet is given life—but he’s told he’s not real yet. To become real, he must prove himself brave, truthful, and unselfish. His journey includes temptation, deception, isolation, and even a moment in the belly of the whale. Only after those trials, and a final sacrificial act of love, does he become a real boy. He becomes someone with agency, identity, and life in his bones.

In Disney’s 2022 remake, the story changes. Pinocchio still comes to life—but stays wooden. The ending reassures him: “You’re perfect just the way you are.” He doesn’t grow, transform, or change. And the audience is meant to feel that’s okay.

But that ending broke my heart. Because I’ve lived that wooden life.

I did everything I was told. I followed the rules, made the safe choices, said yes when people needed help. I worked hard, stayed humble, and tried to serve God with everything I had. I assumed that doing the right thing would eventually lead to the good life.

But instead, it just led to more of the same.

More work. More responsibility. More denial of myself—my desires, my limits, my individuality. And the more I gave, the more invisible I became.

Wake up. Work. Serve. Repeat.

And for a while, I assumed that was normal. That this is just what adulthood—or faithfulness—is supposed to feel like.

2. Rooted Assumption – This Is Just What Life Is

Most people don’t say it out loud, but underneath the surface, there’s a quiet belief that the dullness is normal. That life is supposed to feel like a loop: work, chores, errands, sleep, repeat. That if you feel uninspired or disconnected, that’s just part of being an adult. It’s what life is.

We grow up learning to aim for the same checklist: Go to school (maybe college), get a job (any stable one will do), find someone to marry, raise kids, plan vacations, pay bills, save for retirement.

Maybe you went to a different school. Picked a different job. Took a different route to get there. But the template underneath? It's surprisingly the same.

Same schedules. Same goals. Same distractions. Even our joys have become standardized: birthday parties, Friday night football, back-to-school shopping, proms, weekend getaways, PTO. It looks like freedom—but it feels like copy and paste.

And in Christian circles, that sameness gets spiritualized. We’re told things like: “Deny yourself.” “Serve others.” “God will reward you in the next life.”

The unspoken message? Your desires are dangerous. Your individuality is selfish. And if your life feels empty, that’s probably a good sign you’re doing it right.

But what if that message isn’t biblical? What if the version of life we’re all following isn’t holy… just habitual?

3. Re-examined Evidence – The Wooden Life Is Real (and Measurable)

This isn’t just poetic language or emotional metaphor. There’s a surprising amount of research—and even Scripture—that confirms what I call the “wooden life” is not only real, but common.

Subconscious Programming and the Brain

According to Dr. Bruce Lipton, a stem cell biologist and author of The Biology of Belief, by the age of 35, up to 95% of our thoughts, behaviors, and decisions are run by subconscious programs. These are beliefs and patterns we absorbed in early childhood—before we had the capacity to question them. So while we may think we’re living freely, most of us are simply repeating inherited scripts.

That means many adults are not actively choosing their lives. They’re following ingrained routines, reactions, and assumptions they never examined. It’s not laziness—it’s neurology. The brain values efficiency and learns to favor what’s familiar, not what’s free.

Education and Cultural Conditioning

Sir Ken Robinson, a well-known education expert, argued that our schools aren’t designed to develop creative, whole individuals. Instead, they were modeled after industrial-era systems meant to produce compliant workers. From early on, students are taught to follow instructions, perform for approval, and suppress their natural curiosity. This sets a pattern: you learn to succeed by obeying, not by becoming.

Even as adults, that pattern persists. We pick the college, the career, the partner—but often from a narrow set of culturally approved options. We believe we’ve made choices, but the template is the same: get a job, buy a house, raise kids, retire. What we’re rarely asked is: Was this path truly mine to begin with?

Emotional Suppression Mistaken for Peace

Dr. Gabor Maté, a physician and trauma expert, explains that many people learn early to suppress their emotions—not because they’re bad, but because it wasn’t safe to feel or express them. Over time, that suppression becomes a way of life. We call it “being responsible” or “keeping it together,” but what we’re really doing is living disconnected from ourselves.

Maté argues that what most people think is contentment is actually numbness. We’re calm not because we’re grounded, but because we’re shut down. That’s not peace. That’s protective detachment. And in religious settings, this numbness is often rewarded as spiritual maturity.

Scripture’s Take: Conformity vs. Transformation

The Bible actually supports this idea of hidden, unconscious patterning. In Romans 12:2, Paul writes, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” This implies there is a pattern—one that we’re all tempted to fall into. And transformation requires intention, awareness, and new thinking.

Proverbs 23:7 says, “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.” Not as he behaves. Not as he appears. But as he thinks—deep down, where beliefs shape reality. And in John 10:10, Jesus says, “I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.” If your life feels like survival—not abundance—that’s not a sign you’re doing Christianity right. It may be a sign you’re still living in the wooden stage.

The First Spirit-Filled Person in the Bible Was a Creator

In Exodus 31, one of the first people explicitly said to be “filled with the Spirit of God” wasn’t a prophet or king. It was Bezalel—a craftsman called to design the tabernacle. God gave him wisdom, understanding, and skill—not to rule, but to create sacred beauty. That’s how highly God values creativity and individuality. He didn’t just give instructions; He gave inspiration.

This flies in the face of every message that says your job is to behave, obey, or disappear. God filled someone with His Spirit—not to perform—but to design something no one else could.

4. Reframed Belief – Obedience Was Never the End Goal

So let’s reframe it:

Holiness doesn’t mean erasing your identity. It means becoming whole. Obedience doesn’t mean suppression. It means alignment. Sacrifice isn’t about punishment. It’s about letting go of false selves to become real.

God didn’t make you to be a puppet—serving, sacrificing, and silencing your soul. He made you to be an image-bearer: someone who creates, who reflects, who responds. Someone who walks with Him like Adam did in the garden—unashamed, alive, unedited.

And maybe the first step back to that kind of life isn’t repentance in the traditional sense—but curiosity.

I once heard that horse trainers can’t train a herd. They wait for the one horse that pauses—just for a second—and turns its head toward the trainer. That’s the horse that gets invited into the round pen. That’s the horse that begins the journey.

God doesn’t yank us away from the herd. He waits for our curiosity.

5. Reflective Invitation – Could That Ache Be Holy?

So what if the ache isn’t rebellion? What if it’s sacred?

What if your longing for more isn't selfish, but spiritual? What if your dissatisfaction isn’t a flaw in your faith—but the first sign that God is calling you out of the pattern?

Ask yourself:

• What used to make you come alive as a child, before adulthood taught you to be efficient?

• What would you pursue if you weren’t afraid of being irresponsible or judged?

• When was the last time you felt awe?

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Maybe becoming real doesn’t require a plan. Maybe it just takes a glance. A turn. A willingness to wonder.

Because you weren’t made for obedience alone. You were made to come alive.